I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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