I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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