Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
