I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
