wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
