Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
