I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
