Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
