so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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