did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
