I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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