I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
