You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
