I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
