So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
People in love make me want to vomit
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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