I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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