What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
