he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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