like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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