best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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