Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
