I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
