you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
