Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
