dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
