spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
