Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My life is pants optional.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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