he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
