Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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