I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
