brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
