How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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