is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
