This house was built for laser tag.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize