Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
