a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
