Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
