I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
