um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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