yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
