she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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