i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
