I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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