I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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