she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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