i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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