I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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