the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Houston, we have a squirter
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
