My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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