fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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