i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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