So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
