if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
