help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
