I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
