i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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