Your tits are I can't wait for
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
