Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
