she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
