I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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