and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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