My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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