She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
