i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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