dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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