i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
