Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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