I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
